Your unique kid!

I have set up a closed Facebook group for parents who have a unique kid who sits, but seemingly does not fit, within a mainstream world.

I know how hard it can be when others don't get your child in the way that you do and that they judge your parenting style believing it is somehow to blame for your child's behaviour.

I see the group as a place where parents can share useful stuff and also let off steam if they need to.  A place where we as parents feel we fit in too.

I know it was great when the first mum who joined shared with me how similar her story was to the ones she was reading on this blog and sometimes it can just feel good to know that you are not alone.

I truly believe that our kids are a gift to both us and the wider population and I have a passion to help others understand that too.

If you'd like to join us please click here and request to join.

I look forward to meeting you.

I'm feeling a little blue today!

I can't say that without hearing Eeyore's voice ;-)

It was Evan's parents evening today.  Unlike most parents Jim and I don't go along wondering how well she is getting on academically we go along to find out how she is getting on socially and if she is happy.

We see her PE teacher, her ICT teacher, her music teacher and her form teacher.

In the past two years we've seen one particular teacher last who for reasons I won't mention happens to really 'get' Evan.  That teacher always has us leaving parents evening on a bit of a high, not because Evan copes any better in that teacher's class, but because their attitude towards her is very different.  Unfortunately, I missed all the slots and we had to see them first today which is probably why I am sitting here feeling a little blue.

I will pause parents evening there for a moment and take you back two week when we found out that Evan is on the waiting list for an ADOS test and that we should expect a diagnosis of ASD.  The consultant we were meeting with said that when we have the diagnosis we will be amazed at the doors of understanding that will become open for Evan.

Fast forward back to today.  Now before I say this I want to point out that Evan is in a lovely school, one in which the staff and in the main the children are very kind and caring.  However, there was only one teacher who didn't mention words like deliberately naughty, intentionally disobedient, she knows that she shouldn't do this or that.... I could go on.  I am sure you can guess which one it was who didn't say those things.

I really hope that the doctor is right and that with a diagnosis and support being given to the school, in terms of how best to help Evan, that there will come more understanding.  I'm not saying that she can't be some of those things some of the time but I'd love those teachers to be a fly on the wall when my little girl is trying to make sense of how she behaves.  How many six year olds spend time worrying about their behaviour especially if they are deliberately and intentionally behaving in a certain way.

On a brighter note we were informed that she is happy.  Long may it continue.

A little bit of kindness goes a long way

Today I want to share with you a story about some great customer service and what a huge difference it made to me.

I started writing this blog for two reasons:

1. To stop people from seeing kids like Evan as 'special' but as UNIQUE!
2. To help me and mums like me stop feeling so judged.

But I've realised that I'd also like people in general to just be a bit more caring, a bit more understanding and a bit more aware that what you see isn't necessarily all that there is.

Which brings me back to my post today and how just a little bit of kindness and an extra bit of care made a world of difference to me.

It started off  back in the summer when I found a Gift Card for Bluewater that I'd forgotten about.  Now when I received it I couldn't read the numbers properly and I thought it was £15 or £25.  For some reason when I looked at it with fresh eyes I realised it was £75.  Wow! I thought that's a nice surprise, until I found it had expired 6 days previously and I burst into tears.  To explain my apparent overreaction, it had been a tough year for me particularly coming to terms with Evan's tics and we have paid out nearly £5,000 for various test, assessments and treatments for her so, although £75 was a drop in the ocean, I felt like someone had given me a gift and immediately snatched it away from me.

I phoned Store Financial UK Ltd with little expectation that they would care, but how wrong I was. I spoke to a wonderful woman in their call centre who told me to email and explain my situation and they could then decide if there were acceptable special circumstances. She was unbelievably kind and caring.

So I emailed but I didn't hear back (so I thought).  Fast forward to this week and whilst sorting through old emails I come across a response from the manager the day after my original email.  She said yes of course they would reactivate my gift card and she also shared her own experience of having a child, the same age as Evan, with 'special needs'.  

So I emailed saying I can't believe I missed the email and hoped I wasn't too late.  The very next day I got a lovely email from her again with just that little bit of extra care and sharing some useful tips about going through the diagnosis process.  She also sent me a new gift card that I received two days later.

In a virtual world it can so easily be forgotten that there are real people behind emails and even on the end of a phone.  For big call centres we can become just another customer reference number but not in this case and I really wanted to share how such kindness has really made a real difference to me.  So much more in fact than the £75 itself.  Although I am looking forward to going shopping and spending it on myself ;-)