The emotional impact of words

My work life and personal life are crossing over with this post.  I talk a lot with my clients about how it isn't words that hurt them but the emotional attachment they place on the words.

For me and I am sure many mums I cringe at the word special.  I never used to and in fact there are times that I know I have felt special.  When I look at the definition of sepcial why wouldn't it have made me feel good?



spe·cial  /ˈspeSHəl/ Adjective Better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.
Early 13c. definition, "better than ordinary,"

I'm writing this because there have been times when I've heard Evan described as special. Now whilst I might believe she's better, greater and most certainly different from what is usual, I know that isn't what others are thinking. More likely 'not as good, lesser - maybe broken in some way and yes different from what is usual but not in a positive way. That makes me feel sad and angry.

But if our kids are special, by the dictionary definition, all the other kids are ordinary.  If someone described you as ordinary how would you feel?  I know that would make me cringe.

or·di·nar·y  /ˈôrdnˌerē/ Adjective With no special or distinctive features; normal.

I like the word unique.  To me it describes each and every one of us as who we are.

u·nique  /yo͞oˈnēk/ Adjective Being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else.

Wouldn't it be great if we simply saw everyone as unique?  The thought of that makes me feel good :-).